Mom Jeans

A few weeks ago a new friend revealed she was jealous of my pregnancy because it meant that I got to wear maternity jeans. She longed for the days of chowing down on a huge meal in elastic waist pants, or easily slipping on a pair of skinny jeans without having to stuff herself into an unforgiving zipper or buttons.

Unfortunately, I must deliver some harsh truth: maternity jeans are nothing special.

First and foremost I should concede that this is a completely biased report as I only own one pair of maternity jeans which I am wearing today for the first time; but I am willing to bet they are all about the same.

Those of you who know me well know I am not a huge jeans person. In part, I don't wear them often because I prefer the fun of black pants or skirts or even denim skirts to boring jeans but another big reason is the cost. I don't really like plain Gap jeans but I can not bring myself to spend upwards of two or three hundred dollars on the designer brands which I do enjoy. I just haven't been able to spend so much on a single item that is supposed to make me look relaxed. Who can be relaxed at that price?

But, like lots of you have before or will after me, I fell for the maternity jeans myth and got a pair hoping for the best. And, I don't own just any pair; I actually bought a designer brand (Paige Premium Denim for those of you who care). My friend Nancy who is an amazing dresser owns the same pair in a non-maternity style so I figured I couldn't go wrong with my own set. Also, they were on super duper clearance as the Liz Lange Maternity store in Beverly Hills is going out of business (again, for those of you who care, this is a great place to grab some deals) and, the decision was made a lot easier given the fact that my mom was paying.

So today I am trying out my materno jeans and I am so disappointed. The elastic band at the waist is supposed to sit below your bump and while this works while you're getting dressed at home, by the time I sat down and walked around my office for a few minutes this morning, my pants were falling off of me. Thank goodness I had the foresight to wear a long top or I'd be mooning the entire office each time I went to pick something up off of the printer. I took several bathroom breaks before lunch to pull them back up and when I did, they were fine for a bit, they're actually quite flattering if I do say so myself, but they just wouldn't stay put. They are simply too low for this prego to go.

Also, an important thing to note for you non-pregnant ladies who are dreaming of swimming in your jeans once you get here: maternity jeans are not actually bigger jeans. You buy the same size jeans you always did, the only difference is the top of the pant is replaced by an elastic band. You don't get any more wiggle room in the thigh or hip area. So, they might make Thanksgiving dinner a little bit easier but don't fool yourself, these are no sweat pants.

My only hope is that maybe one day my bump will be big enough that it will hold the elastic band up keeping the jeans up with it. Until then, it's back to the tried and true black pants routine.