Non-Stress Test?
I know it's been a while, but I'm writing a post now, loyal readers!
Yesterday we went to the hospital for a "dry run." Don't get excited, it wasn't truly a dry run, it was a scheduled "non-stress test" at the hospital -- and I actually found the test quite stressful. But we'll get to that in a bit.
It started with Nurse Ratchet from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" checking Jamie into her room and barking orders at her. We told her we were there for a non-stress test and she said "what are you monitoring for?" I thought, "Oh no, I don't know. How am I supposed to know? The doctor just told us to cross the street and go take this test. Do I look like a medical professional? Does Jamie?" I'm already stressed.
Once we ascertained that Jamie is taking this test to determine the efficacy of letting the McNug cook longer in a safe placential environment, she was strapped onto a monitor (it basically looked and felt like a very unstylish pair of elastic belts with an ipod attached to it) and then the real stress began. . .
Jamie had to lean on one side and wait for the baby to be monitored. She was facing away from the monitor (which incidentally, I had no idea how to read, and yes, I've taken several classes and no, it wasn't covered in class) so I was the official "scorekeeper." I had to tell her how the scores varied, and they did vary as the baby moved around and we kept a little running track of the highest and lowest (sounds lame, but it was pretty boring in there so we had to do something).
We did this for about 45 minutes until a very friendly nurse came back, congratulated us on our great scores, and sent us on our way.
Since we were in a labor & delivery suite, I'll give you my marks, as if I'm rating one of those hotel response cards at the end of a hotel stay:
Cleanliness - 10 (that floor was gleaming)
Staff - 7 (Very friendly nurse + Somewhat mean and unpleasant nurse = 7)
Amenities - 8.5 (flat screen TV, glider, etc are nice. The Dad's bed/bench could be cozier...)
Food - 8 (The greasy burger joint across the street is amazing and California Chicken Cafe, a favorite, is a close walk. Neither are actually hospital food but they are close...)
Overall -- we're looking forward to our stay.
Wish us luck, we hope it comes soon!
-Jonathan
Yesterday we went to the hospital for a "dry run." Don't get excited, it wasn't truly a dry run, it was a scheduled "non-stress test" at the hospital -- and I actually found the test quite stressful. But we'll get to that in a bit.
It started with Nurse Ratchet from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" checking Jamie into her room and barking orders at her. We told her we were there for a non-stress test and she said "what are you monitoring for?" I thought, "Oh no, I don't know. How am I supposed to know? The doctor just told us to cross the street and go take this test. Do I look like a medical professional? Does Jamie?" I'm already stressed.
Once we ascertained that Jamie is taking this test to determine the efficacy of letting the McNug cook longer in a safe placential environment, she was strapped onto a monitor (it basically looked and felt like a very unstylish pair of elastic belts with an ipod attached to it) and then the real stress began. . .
Jamie had to lean on one side and wait for the baby to be monitored. She was facing away from the monitor (which incidentally, I had no idea how to read, and yes, I've taken several classes and no, it wasn't covered in class) so I was the official "scorekeeper." I had to tell her how the scores varied, and they did vary as the baby moved around and we kept a little running track of the highest and lowest (sounds lame, but it was pretty boring in there so we had to do something).
We did this for about 45 minutes until a very friendly nurse came back, congratulated us on our great scores, and sent us on our way.
Since we were in a labor & delivery suite, I'll give you my marks, as if I'm rating one of those hotel response cards at the end of a hotel stay:
Cleanliness - 10 (that floor was gleaming)
Staff - 7 (Very friendly nurse + Somewhat mean and unpleasant nurse = 7)
Amenities - 8.5 (flat screen TV, glider, etc are nice. The Dad's bed/bench could be cozier...)
Food - 8 (The greasy burger joint across the street is amazing and California Chicken Cafe, a favorite, is a close walk. Neither are actually hospital food but they are close...)
Overall -- we're looking forward to our stay.
Wish us luck, we hope it comes soon!
-Jonathan
posted by Jonathan at
3:42 PM
1 Comments:
Wait? So what was the decision? Cook or no cook? What does great scores mean?
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